When Shio entered Higher Ground, he had 30 years of sobriety, but he was at rock bottom.
“I hadn’t officially relapsed, but I was broken. Angry. Suicidal. I couldn’t sleep. I’d walk 20 or 30 km a day . . . Just to try and stop my head from really driving me over the edge.” His wife, Siobhan, had returned from Ireland to find a stranger in her home.
“She said she didn’t even recognise me. She couldn’t even look in my eyes.”
Higher Ground didn’t offer easy fixes. “They said, ‘We’re not going to cure your alcoholism, Shio. We’ll give you tools.’ And I thought, that’s copping out. But now I see what they meant.” Those tools began with routine and reflection. But the real change came through the family group process.
“I hadn’t spoken to my daughter in 10 years. She came in and read an impact letter. I had to just sit and listen. Then my wife. Then people I didn’t even know gave feedback. And then, my counsellor whispered, ‘I want to talk about that kid when you were five years old. He [Shio’s five-year old self] was a good kid. He didn’t deserve that, did he?’ I broke down. First time I’d said it out loud. No one knew.”
Shio described the experience as brutal. “Every day was a challenge. I used to want to leave. But I had to stay. I had to change.” In time, he began to see his responses (e.g., anger, control, retreat) for what they were.
“Turns out, most of the time I wasn’t angry. I was ashamed.”
Post-treatment hasn’t been smooth. “They left me raw. Their aftercare didn’t work for me. So I just kept going. AA every day, counselling, meetings.” Through it all, his wife remained a crucial anchor. “She’s strong” She doesn’t coddle. “She just leaves me with it. And that’s hard, but it’s what I need. In some ways she’s my test case because she’s the most important person to me.”
Today, Shio is building something new. He’s cautious but committed. “Now I say nothing and just hope. That’s like jumping off a cliff for me.” Still, he’s giving back, driving others to meetings, reaching out. “So now I’ve got some good friends . . . I would pick up the phone, I’ve got four or five people.”
When Shio looks back at his time at Higher Ground he says