During my pregnancy I was in hospital twice after over-dosing to commit suicide, and I ended up in respite care on suicide watch the second time. When I was about six months pregnant my ex-partner tried to kill me, then wouldn’t let me leave the house. Now I was a prisoner in more ways then one. My mum was worried and asked the police to go around. When we heard the knock on the door my boyfriend warned me to hide, but I had to get out so I opened the door and told the police everything.
This wasn’t the first time I had gone to the police and this time he didn’t get out on bail. When I had my baby I was completely alone. All my friends and family had walked away. I had to take a cab to the hospital when I was in labour. I went into a residential treatment facility but was discharged when my son was six months old as I was very aggressive and couldn’t control my anger. I ended up sitting in a police station with my baby and nowhere to go, and I watched as my child was taken away from me.
I felt helpless, homeless and alone. All I had was my car to sleep in so I went to get wasted and had a three-month bender doing whatever I had to do to get drugs. I was going to give my son up for adoption. This was my rock bottom. I thought if I gave him to a family who could look after him then I could live my life using drugs and that still being a prostitute I would be okay.